Tuesday, May 26, 2009

S'Mess

Whats the most ridiculous thing about the Microwave S'mores Maker?



A) that it only holds two at a time
B) that it's supremely ugly and cheap looking
C) how incredibly fat it's going to make some latchkey kid
D) that unless you have only one well-behaved child, you're going to have to referee a s'mores melee in your kitchen that will end with a broken microwave and a skyrocketing electric bill.

Microwave S'mores Maker brings the fun of a campfire to your kitchen! Microwaveable dish makes two s'mores treats in just 30 seconds, allowing you to heat graham crackers, marshmallows and chocolate evenly at the same time. Just add water, lift arms and assemble s'mores, lower arms, mirowave and enjoy! Dishwasher-safe plastic. Includes instructions. 7 1/2" W x 6 1/4" D x 4" H. $7.98

Monday, May 18, 2009

This is Bananas

Now, I've heard of damaged merchandise discounted for a quick sale, but this is ridiculous. I found this tie on the Banana Republic website. How desperate do you have to be to spend $40 on a stained tie?



Don't believe me? Click here to see it, before they pull it down!

(Below is a screen capture in case it's gone before you get the chance to click on the link.)

Saturday, May 09, 2009

Color Coded Crap

Here's another product that answers a question nobody asked. If only I knew what the question was.



MOTHER: Jimmy, did you make your lunch for school tomorrow?

JIMMY: No, Mom.

MOTHER: Well, do it now so you don't forget. We can't afford you to waste money on those expensive hot lunches now can we? Go make your peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

JIMMY: But, Mom, I'm 17. Don't we have any cold cuts?

MOTHER: We're in a recession! We can't afford them! Go make your PB and J! If you give me any more lip I'm going to slap you into next week.

JIMMY: (signs, heads for kitchen)

MOTHER: Honestly, I don't know where you get this wasteful mentality from. And don't forget to use the PB & J spreader from Harriet Carter! Think of how much time it saves me by not having to wash two knives.

JIMMY: Okay, Mom (takes PB & J spreader and drops it behind the stove).

Peanut Butter & Jelly Spreader is the all-in-one, dual-purpose tool to scoop and spread PB & J on bread or crackers. Color-coded ends make it nearly impossible to confuse the two. Silicone tips provide easy spreading. Can also be used for butter, cream cheese, mayo and mustard. Dishwasher safe. 11 ½” L. $9.99

Friday, May 01, 2009

Oh, They'll Be Talking Alright

Now you can recreate the horror of the sinking of the Titanic at your next cocktail party!

This silicone ice cube tray pops out miniature frozen versions of the famed ship, as well as fatal icebergs. Plop them in your guests drinks and watch the conversation start!

The only thing is, once the smoke stacks melt away, it will no longer be a ship and ice bergs, but something resembling a pickle and meatballs, if you know what I mean.



Ship and Iceberg Cube Maker is sure to be an unsinkable addition to your next party. They’re definitely the ice breaker that will give your guests something to talk about. Ice tray makes 4 ships and 4 icebergs. Pair them in your favorite drink and recreate history. Cheers! 5 ¾” x 6 ½” silicone tray. $7.98

Endorsed by Debbie Gibson

Hey, Ladies! Tired of looking like a Chinese paper lantern when you get dressed? Can't figure out that maybe you should just wear a bigger shirt? Love ugly accessories that scream 1989 on them?

Here you go.



No bulge slim belt cinches in at the waist like a regular belt, but lays flat so tops can rest evenly over pant without bulges. Look slim while still wearing a belt and feel great in outfits for a perfect fit every time. The clear, flexible, ultra-thin band virtually disappears by blending in with any color. Easy to wear and adjust with high or low waisted pants and jeans. Prevents back gap when you bend over or sit down. Set of two includes one clear and one black. Vinyl. Regular (22-45") Large (28-53")

Crap Crap

There are some things that are so beyond stupid to me that I get exhausted just thinking about them. I know I have to post them, but I need a few days to get over the initial shock.

This is a set of kitchen tools for people who don't own a knife or a food processor. Or maybe they do own a knife, but don't have access to Food Network or the Internet, and can't figure out how to do it, so they just give up buy this crap instead.

Let's start with the stupidest one first, shall we?

Is grating cheese just too boring for you? Then let the Kitchen Cruiser take you back to your infancy. Drive it over a block of cheese like a car and it grates as you go, spitting grated cheese out the sides. Can you imagine that mess?



And here we have the Chop Chop. Put all your chopables in the Chop Chop and then push down. The blade chops everything "without stuff flying all over the kitchen." If this happens when you cook, I'm never coming over for dinner.



Here is our lovely Chop Chop in action. Looks like a jellyfish to me. Gross gross.



Okay, I don't care how well designed this thing is; in the wrong hands, the Pear is going to slit somebody's wrist.



And there you have it. It seems like these are just concepts at the moment, because I can't find any pricing info online, but I'll betcha they're a little overpriced for kitchen gadgets you'll use once or twice before reaching for the scissors to cut up your credit cards.

iTorture

Do you love to torture people with personal pictures? Are you oblivious when your victims friends just repeat, "Oh, that's a cute picture," over and over?

Well, here's a gadget for you. Wallet Pix holds 58 digital pictures, uses expensive button batteries and is the size of an iPod. All for $30 bucks!


Or, you could stop buying generic digital gadgets, save your money and get a much thinner iPod, which will allow you to look cool, never have to buy stupid button batteries, and store a few hundred photos.

Wallet Pix™ lets you carry 58 of your favorite digital photos wherever you go! Just plug the credit-card sized album into your computer, transfer your pictures and enjoy. It’s easy to use with built-in plug and play technology, which means no special software is needed for your computer. Has auto shut-off feature and comes with 3 button batteries, USB cable, directions. Compatible with Windows 2000, ME, XP and Vista operating systems. 3-1/2" x 2". $29.98