Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Stoned

SUSAN: Hi, Charlie! Thanks for stopping by. Do you think you can give me an idea of what it would cost to put down some pavers in my backyard?

CHARLIE: Sure! Let me take a look.

(20 minutes later)

SUSAN: So?

CHARLIE: Well, Susan, to cover this area, we're looking at about $35,000, not including labor, materials or "stone carrying fees."

SUSAN: OH, NO! (buries face in hands, sobs)

Tired of getting ripped off by evil contractors? Don't you wish you could do it all yourself for a fraction of the price?

Well now you can! These plastic stepping stones will save the day and give your property value an enormous boost! Think of the savings!


And then think about how these pieces of shit will start to sink in the corners and create a tripping hazard, sending grandma face first into the BBQ.

A set of 4 is $30, plus shipping. To get the effect shown here, be prepared to pay about 300 bucks, fools.

Instant patio "stones" transform your backyard and create attractive functional space in minutes. Easy-to-install, stone-look blocks simply lay over any unpaved surface, stay secure with patented tooth grip. Adds quick, solid terrain for walkways, barbeques, borders, pool pumps, more. Durable and weather-resistant polypropylene. Set of four, 16" squares. $29.99

2 comments:

Neil Russell said...

I'm surprised this crap is still being offered at retail! The last time I saw these (and their "wood slat" counterpart) was in the bargain bin at Big Lots.
I contemplated the fake wood ones for a moment and then thought it would make my yard look less like it had a fancy new deck and more like someone had deposited some old shipping pallets out there.

Hamamama said...

i dont have a backyard, but i think i'll lay it in one section of my apartment so i can throw a BBQ...what do you think??