Wednesday, April 08, 2009

I Think I Know What the Neighbors Will Think

Fake flowers and plants are stupid enough, but fake ivy now? Why? Because home values haven't plummeted enough? Because it's a "privacy emergency"?

"Oh my God. Harold, the neighbors can see my legs! Hurry, throw some fake ivy up!"

EZ-IvyTM fence privacy transforms a chain link, wooden or plastic fence into a wall of ivy with no watering or trimming required. Provides year-round privacy, hides unsightly views and enhances to curb appeal of your property. No need to wait for real ivy to grow, faux-ivy improves the view in minutes – just unroll and secure with your zip ties or staple gun. Can be trimmed to fit. Weather resistant PVC, 10' long x 38" high. $69.98


Dani said...

It's been my experience that real Ivy doesn't take much care. It just growns wether you want it or not. Of coarse you're stuck with it FOREVER but it's still nicer than this junk.

Neil Russell said...

Progress marches on, you can wrap your house in vinyl siding, you can overlay the yard in vinyl grass, and now you can surround the place with vinyl ivy.
Then tell everyone you've achieved your ambition to be a cheese sandwich all wrapped up in cellophane

Chris said...

Dani, I couldn't have said it better myself.

Neil, that was comedy gold.

lnewcomb24 said...

But real ivy takes "grow" time and I have a dog that barks behind our fence when @!&@! neighbor dogs run back and forth between mom's and daughter's homes! We've tried shock collers, and sonic (laugh) emitters to hush him, to no avail. Thinking if he can't see them he'll quit. Problem is, he is so conditioned to their vehicle's sound, now he barks when he hears them rev up, knowing the dogs are about to follow ! We live in the country ~ so there is no corraling their !@#!@ dogs !!!