Monday, February 02, 2009


Behind the scenes in the marketing department for the Perfect Pan:

BOSS: Okay, guys, we need to market the hell out of the Perfect Pan, but what kind of food should go on it?

FOOD STYLIST: Well, what is it made for cooking?

BOSS: Didn't you read that marketing material I sent you? It does everything from oversized cookies to pizzas and fajitas - you name it.

FOOD STYLIST: Hmm, let's see... What about a nice rustic looking pizza with all the toppings? That will get people's attention.

BOSS: Nah, everybody's doing pizza these days. I got it! How about a giant chocolate chip cookie topped with three scoops of vanilla ice cream with that Magic Shell stuff on it? Maybe throw a little strawberries and blueberries on for effect.

FOOD STYLIST: You had that in your head the whole time, didn't you?

BOSS: Damn right! Make it happen!

Cast iron giant cookie pan creates bakery-style oversized cookies, restaurant-quality flavorful single-serve pizzas baked from center to sides with perfection, and other gourmet delicacies including tortillas, fajitas and crepes at home. Pre-seasoned to work on stovetop or in oven. Keeps food warmer for longer with masterful heat retention and distribution. Cast iron, 15 x 10 1/2 x 2". Was: $19.98 Now: $9.98 (because nobody wants it.)

I Pity The Fool Who Buys One

Oh, look! The EZ Bake Oven is all grown up! It's no longer pink, but now cooks everything up to 500 degrees! Although, from the looks of it, it still uses light bulb technology.

Now, I don't know about you, but I don't want some gimmicky piece of plastic getting that hot on my countertop.

FlavorWave Turbo Oven evenly cooks food three times as fast as a regular oven up to 500 degrees F. The food stays juicy while the fats and oils drain out. The Flavorwave Turbo Oven cooks frozen food, no defrosting! Included is a vegetable steamer basket, browning tray, and breakfast plate. Bake, broil, roast, toast, and sear. Sleek design includes digital control panel, fan speed control button, and detachable power cord. Self cleaning. Stainless steel, plastic, shatter proof glass. 10 1/2 x 10 1/2 x 3 1/2". $119.98