Friday, January 02, 2009

Lordy Gaudy

Things to know about the Prayer Cross from Montebello Collections

- There's nothing like using religious guilt to move some cheesy, gimmicky piece of costume jewelry.

- Anything touted as a "collectible" automatically means that it's going to be on eBay in three years at ten times the price, even if you end up buying it in the As Seen on TV section of your local drug store, next to a fondue set and a Pasta n More.

- It comes with a Certificate of Authenticity, so as to squash the devastating counterfeit Prayer Cross epidemic.

- It's not available in stores! (Give it a month.)

It's easy to imagine someone buying one - and then wearing it to church.

MARIA: Good morning, Father.

PASTOR: Good morning, Maria.

MARIA: Do you like my new cross?

PASTOR: It's quite nice, Maria. Was it a gift?

MARIA: Oh, no, I saw it on the television!

PASTOR: (pauses) Really?

MARIA: Yes, father - and when you hold it up to the light, you can see the Lord's prayer - so it's always close to my heart. Isn't that wonderful?

PASTOR: But don't you have it memorized by now?

MARIA: Oh, yes father, but this was only two payments of $19.99, plus $7.99 for shipping and handling.

PASTOR: You know, Maria, we appreciate your faith, but that's 48 dollars you could have put in the collection bin today. The church needs your support more than ever. Please don't be so gullible.

MARIA: Isn't that your BMW 7-series parked outside?

PASTOR: Well, I have to get back to my prayers. Have a blessed day.

Thanks to Neil Russell for the tip!


Moda di Magno said...

Moda di Magno will immediately launch a "Spiritual Accessory" line. How could I have missed this market! Best video ever.

Dani said...

I took my daughter for a checkuo yesterday & her doctor was wearign one of these fugly things. I didn't call her on it because she was coming at us with a needle.