Monday, October 20, 2008

Shove the Game Up the...

This has to be the cheesiest, stupidest variant of Pin the Tail on the Donkey in game history.

Pin the Grin on the Pumpkin.


Halloween version of "Pin-the-tail on the donkey." Reusable coated-paper set includes a 24x30" poster featuring a grinning cat and a grin-less jack-o'-lantern plus 12 big smiles (each about 4 1/2 x 6 1/4") to attach with your removable tape.$4.98

All Wet

Ordinary shower caps too boring for you? Wish you could look more like a creepy character from some Charles Dickens novel?

Here you go.

Jazzy Shower Cap is the fun way to keep your hair dry. Stylish hair protector is covered in a mesh fabric with light-catching dots, and is accented with a luscious red flower. Underlying plastic cap has an elastic band for a comfortable fit. Wear it to relax in the tub, to shower or to enjoy a facial. One size fits all.

Why Not Just Put it in the Back Seat, Then?

Sometimes I wonder why the designers of certain products aren't brought up on charges. Like this stupid thing for example.

You know, there is a reason that your car's gauges are near the windshield and not down at your thigh. And if I have to tell you what that reason is, then you might as well buy one of these lovely gadgets and find out.

GPS Cup Holder Mount organizes any brand GPS in standard cup holder making it less of a target for thieves on windshield, better windshield vision, no messy wires (roll wires up in bottom of unit!) and no reaching over steering wheel to program. Keeps it out of baking sun and no more suction marks too! Polyurethane, 4 1/4 x 6".$19.98

Dim Bulb

Live in a minimalist cave or basement apartment with plenty of disposable income? Then you might be interested in this fancy-schmancy light fixture. Mount it on the wall and aim it wherever you like. It will project the image of light coming in through a window that you don't have! And all for $389.00!

Maybe it's just me, but if you can afford 400 bucks on a novelty light, then you can probably afford an apartment with windows.

An innovative light fixture that creates the illusion of natural sunlight, streaming in through a double window and onto your interior wall. As air currents pass through the projector, the branches of the projected tree appear to sway in a gentle, morning breeze. An ideal solution for small, urban spaces, and rooms that could use a "view". $389.00

Monday, October 13, 2008

Who Needs Diet and Exercise?

Jenny's friends could never figure out just how she stayed so slim - until they saw her bathroom. Then it became obvious that she simply spent all her time in the bathroom losing her appetite.

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Retro Garbage: Hong Kong Rickshaw

Just one look at the title and you know this wouldn't fly in today's world. "Hong Kong Rickshaw" is way to politically incorrect for our wimpy society to get past, even though it's technically WHERE THEY COME FROM.

But let's assume they changed the name to Kiddie Kart, or something along those lines. Would it still pass? Read the description.

3 to 5 children? Not today's children. Today's high fructose, video game kids are fat as trucks. They would crush this thing in a matter of seconds. The poor thing wouldn't have a chance.

And then there would be lawsuits, claiming that the child pulling the rickshaw was victimized and traumatized by the other children and now needs round the clock psychiatric care and medication for Frivolous Claim-itis.

Retro Garbage: The Folding Grill

Here is a lovely item from the very first Harriet Carter Catalog, published in 1958. Apparently, they had stupid garbage back then as well.

This is a folding grill that is apparently so advanced that it can cook a whole steak in six minutes - using newspaper?

It really makes me wonder: How many people fell for this bullshit back then, only to abandon it at the camping site?

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Probably No Sex, Either

Oh, look how fun! Here's a cutesy little sign aimed at idiots who grew up in the 80s and miss their "Lamborghini/Italian/Greek/My Little Pony Parking Only" sign, and now find themselves in a loveless, abusive marriage arranged by their strict parents.

Rules for marital bliss sign lays down the laws of late-night so you and your partner can both get some Z's. Seven commandments include No Drooling, No Snoring, and maybe the most common bedtime violation, No Blanket Hogging. Embossed aluminum with pre-drilled holes, 12 x 8". $12.98