Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Secondhand Dope

This battery-powered Ionic Ashtray is great for company!

BETTY: Hi, Veronica! How are you? Thanks for coming over! Have a seat.
VERONICA: Oh, Betty! It's been so long. The divorce with Jughead was brutal. He's a son of a bitch. (pulls out pack of cigarettes)
BETTY: You smoke now?
VERONICA: Yeah, the stress of the divorce drove me to it. Do you mind?
BETTY: No, not at all. I smoke sometimes, but I'm trying to quit. So, if you wouldn't mind using this ashtray instead...
VERONICA: That looks like a salon hairdryer for dolls. What the fuck?
BETTY: It's great. Let me show you. It's a little awkward...but basically, you have to blow your cigarrette smoke gently into the dome. It's not so bad. You'll get the hang of it. Hey, where are you going?
VERONICA: To get back together with Jughead. He may be a jackass, but not a stupid ass.

Ionic Ashtray eliminates secondhand smoke and odors! Revolutionary ashtray uses ionic technology to convert smoke into negative particles that are captured in the dome’s lining. Makes your home more pleasant for non-smoking family and friends! Ultra-quiet; operates with 4 AA batteries (not incl.) or included UL-listed adapter. Has glass ashtray and built-in nightlight. 7 1/2" H x 5 1/2" diam. $39.98

No comments: