Monday, March 24, 2008

Free With Purchase of a Great John


The Bottom Buddy is a device to assist those with limited reach or mobility in the bathroom. I admire the idea behind this product, as long as it's used by the people that really need it.

So, I've devised a questionnaire that might come in handy.

Dear potential Bottom Buddy customer. Please fill out this short questionnaire to determine your eligibility for our product.

1. Are you suffering from a debilitating disease that impairs movement?
A) Yes
B) No

2. Are you elderly and no longer as flexible as you once were?
A) Yes
B) No

3. Have you recently had surgery or are recovering from an accident?
A) Yes
B) No

4. Do you frequently eat fast food, such as McDonalds, Wendys and/or Taco Bell?
A) No
B) Yes

5. Does your exercise regimen consist of bending down to get that fry you dropped so you can eat it?
A) Hell no. Are you crazy?
B) Yes

6. Are you now morbidly obese and don't care?
A) No
B) Yes

7. If you answered B to questions 5 & 6, do you now own this shirt as a result?
A) No
B) Yes

If you can correctly answer A to all these questions, you may have a bottom buddy. If you've answered B to question 5, please leave your address in the comments so that I may pay you a visit.

YOU MAY ALSO LIKE: Jumbo John, You're Cleared for Landing

Thanks to Paynin Diaz for the tip!

2 comments:

Scooter said...

The "Bottom Buddy"??? Sounds like a date.

Paynin Diaz said...

where do you put this when not in use? i'm picturing a sanitary nightmare. i'm also picturing little Opie coming out of the bathroom saying "What's this Aunt Bea?"