Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Absolut Wabbit

Presenting, the Easter Tree.


SANTA CLAUS: (dials phone)
EASTER BUNNY: Hello?
SC: Is this the Easter Bunny?
EB: Yeah. Who's this?
SC: Santa Claus, creator of Christmas, the biggest, baddest commercial holiday on Earth.
EB: Okaaaay. What can I do for you, Santa?
SC: Look, Bunny, I've had it with your shit.
EB: What the hell are you talking about?
SC: I think you know.
EB: No, I don't.
SC: The Easter Egg tree? Are you kidding me? Or did you forget that eggs don't grow on trees?
EB: Oh, so what! I can't sell a few trinkets in the name of Jesus Christ? I mean, look in the mirror, big guy.
SC: You gettin smart with me, you little son of a bitch?
EB: No, I'm saying you're a sell out, a hypocrite, and a megalomaniac.
SC: You... son of a (burp) bitch!
EB: Oh, Santa. Are you hittin the vodka again?
SC: Maybe. But I can still kick your ass into October.
EB: Please. Like I'm really gonna be scared of someone who's a Hershey's Kiss away from a heart attack. *click*

Easter Egg Tree. Festive white paper-wrapped wire tree sprawls from a white resin pot filled with faux moss. Its pliable branches are adorned with sparkling "sugared" eggs in pretty pastel colors. Makes a dazzling centerpiece! 22". [Lillian Vernon]

2 comments:

S* said...

My friend you certainly have a gift for dialogue.

Paynin Diaz said...

i HATE faux moss........