Saturday, January 05, 2008

Why Housewives Run Away

I think this thing deserves its own commercial:

Attention, Housewives: Are you a total doormat for your family? Does your husband beat you? Do the kids spit in your face? Maybe you're still picking at the scabs from your fateful decision to try to make Chinese for dinner last week?


Well, now you can save yourself a trip to the emergency room with the perfect pizza pan! Here's how it works. You roll out your homemade pizza dough and place it on the perfect pizza pan! Now go around and ask every single family member exactly what they want on their slice. Place the toppings carefully on each slice, cut them along the grooves and put it in the oven. Family harmony never tasted so delicious!

Too much work? Here's a shortcut.

Wife: Alright, you picky bastards, I'm calling Domino's now. Two pies with pepperoni. If you don't like it, then y'alls can starve.

Husband: Honey, please put down the gun.


***
Perfect Pizza Pans. The perfect solution for the picky pizza family! Innovative non-stick carbon steel pans are sectioned so each slice can have different toppings. Use the cutting groove between each section to cut perfect slices with no topping mix-ups! Dishwasher safe. Large, 12"Dia. Extra-large, 16"Dia. $12.98 - $14.98 [Lillian Vernon]

1 comment:

Slinky Redfoot said...

DAMMIT BITCH I SAID NO ONIONS! THEY GIVE ME GAS! NOW GO BACK IN THERE AND MAKE ME ANOTHER SLICE!