Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Twinkie Tuesdays 11: Far Removed


"When I was a child, my mother always packed Twinkies in my lunch. As I matured, I wanted to incorporate my fondness for Twinkies into an adult treat. People love it when I make this dessert; it brings back sweet memories."

DIANA PILLITTIERI, JAMESTOWN, NEW YORK

Twinkie Lasagna

10 Twinkies, halved lengthwise
1 (12-ounce) bag semisweet or milk chocolate chips
1 cup sliced fresh strawberries
1 cup fresh rasberries
1 (3.4-ounce) package instant vanilla pudding mix
2 cups milk
1 (8-ounce) container frozen nondairy whipped topping, thawed

Arrange the Twinkies cut side up in a 9 by 13-inch baking dish.

Place the chocolate chips in a microwave safe bowl and microwave on high power for 1 minute. Stir and continue to microwave on high power for 1 minute. Stir and continue to microwave for 15 to 30 seconds, stirring frequently, until melted and smooth. Drizzle the chocolate over the Twinkies, then layer the strawberries and rasberries over the chocolate.

In a bowl, combine the pudding mix and milk and stir according to the package instructions, until thickened. Pour the pudding over the fruit, then spoon the whipped topping over the pudding. Refrigerate for 2 to 3 hours, until set.

I'm just curious here. Is Diana trying to suck up to her Italian heritage by bastardizing a classic Italian dish? Or is she that far removed from it that this is all she can come up with for dessert? I'm guessing the latter. Let's hope she didn't make this for her family for Christmas, because that could get ugly.

Diana: Alright, everyone, please come to the table for dessert! (claps hands together, rushes into kitchen)

(People rush the table. Two kids fight over the last chair. An adult pries them apart.)

Diana: (from behind the kitchen door) Is everybody ready?

All: YES! (the kids squeal with delight)

Diana: (backs out of swinging kitchen door) Here we go everyone... Twinkie Lasagna! (sets glass dish down in the center of the table)

Silence. (Little Johnny sticks his finger in the Cool Whip, tastes it) "Eww, gross. Mommy, that's yucky."

Mother-in-law: I knew I should have brought cake. What the hell is this, Diana?

Diana: It's Twinkie Lasagna! (big, proud smile) I made it myself! (giggles) How do they say it? Oh, yeah. Mangia! (laughs) Okay, well...bon appetit, everyone! Dig in!

Mother-in-law: Why in the hell did my son marry you? (turns to husband) We're leaving. This cheap broad is insulting our proud heritage with fucking Twinkies now? I knew I was right about this bitch all along!

Husband: Ssh! Watch your mouth! The kids!

Mother-in-law: Don't you shush me, you son of a bitch! And what about the kids? Let them eat that crap. I'm going home to eat canollis. Come on!

5 comments:

nikoeternal.com said...

lol

poody said...

I have been on this damn diet for so long that this is actually looking pretty good to me! Help! Call Richard Simmons STAT!

Anonymous said...

I just made this resipe and it was realy good. I recamend it to anyone with kids. Im italian and i know good cooking. who doesent like twinkie's?

Anonymous said...

If the maker of twinkies liked her recipe enough to publish it who is anyone to judge her or her recipe. Way to go Diana for your innovative thinking...long live the twinkie.
BF

Chris said...

Why are Twinkie fans so sensitive? Get a life and a sense of humor.

And learn to spell, for fuck's sake.

resipe? recamend? doesent?

Here's an idea: LEARN TO BAKE instead of Frankenstein-ing together a bunch of prepackaged products.