Thursday, December 06, 2007

Pole Position

What do you get for the woman who has everything this holiday season? Well, you get her a portable stripper pole, of course. This one claimes to be portable, as well as (I kid you not) safe and strong enough to support 300 pounds. Just imagine the inertia and lateral g-forces exerted by a 300 pound woman (or man) spinning around uncontrollably on this thing. I say "uncontrollably" because you just know that's what's going to happen the first time around as people attempt to reenact scenes from Showgirls in the privacy of their living room. Then imagine the structural damage to your ceiling. No word on how many steel bolts are required to make this "safe and strong enough to support 300 pounds". At least now I have an idea what's causeing all the noise from the apartment above me. That silly whore. Click Read More for more details and specs.

Spice up your home life with this strong, safe, dancing pole that you can actually swing, spin and hang upside down on. Not only is it exotic entertainment for you and your partner, it's also a fun exercise outlet.

Included instructional DVD teaches a complete beginner/intermediate routine including multiple pole dancing moves that can be mixed and matched, dance tips, techniques, diagrams and more.

Pole assembles and comes apart in minutes. Easy to store when not in use. Stainless steel construction. Supports up to 300 lbs. Fits ceilings 7'5" to 8'5", at least 6.5 foot dia. clearance needed. $119.98

6 comments:

IBBB said...

Is that Heather Mills? The leg doesn't look wooden, but it's hard to tell from that angle.

Hilarious post.

-IBBB

Chris said...

I think it is. The second leg is photoshopped in.

nikoeternal.com said...

Does this mean that she-beast is some bizarre hybrid of an elephant and a monkey?

Chris said...

Yes, with a little rhino thrown in for good measure.

nikoeternal.com said...

lol

Steven said...

I have one in every room of my bachelor apartment.