Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Money Tree will Get You Killed

Who says money doesn't grow on trees? Here's your chance to prove that it does. Inside each candle there is $1 in coins or a $5, $10, $20, or even $50 bill! Burn candle to collect cash. Gift boxed, instructions for burning. 6" high. $14.99 (was $18.99)

A surefire disaster waiting to happen. I imagine it would go down like this:

Christmas Day

Janet: Okay, Mark, this one is for you...

Mark: Thank you, Janet. (unwraps present, drops wrapping paper on floor) Oh, it's a... lovely...money tree candle. (cringes internally) How nice. How...nice of you. Thank you, Janet. (fake smile)

Janet: But there's more. Inside each candle there is $1 in coins or a $5, $10, $20, or even $50 bill! It's like playing the lottery! Isn't that exciting? Why don't we light it now and see what you've got?

Mark: Okay. Let's just leave it here on the coffee table and have something to drink.

(one hour and several glasses of wine later)

Janet: (drunk, slurred speech) Oh, Mark. Dith I ever tells you how what a hanthome man you are?

Mark: And you're pretty too! (glances at candle) Hey! The candle ith all finith up! Leths thee what I got. What the hell, Janet? You're nasty!

1 comment:

Steven said...

I burned one once, and there was nothing at the bottom except for metal plate.