Just imagine after the breakup, when you're trying to hock this thing at the pawn shop to pay for your attorney's fees.
Jaded Wife: I'd like to sell this. They're real freshwater pearls.
Paco: Okay, Mees, pleece slide it under the glass partition, por favor. (holds cross, examines it under the light. Takes out a magnifying glass. Sighs.)
Jaded Wife: What is it? I need the money. I'm getting divorced!
Paco: Ma'am, did you stained this purls?
Jaded Wife: God no! They were a present from my hus--, actually, my future ex-husband. What's wrong?
Paco: Well...I don know how to tell you dis, but this are not wha you thinks.
Jaded Wife: Well, those are real! He told me so! I'm sure of it!
Paco: Ay, ya yai...Is not that...I...I don't know how to tell you dis...
Jaded Wife: Tell me, please!
Paco: Well, it seems like...somebady...dyed this pearls.
Jaded Wife: What the hell are you talking about?
Paco: This pearls were dyed. I'm thinking, shoe polish, maybe. I donno. They are worthless.
Jaded Wife: Son of a BITCH! Do you have any guns for sale here? Nevermind. I'll take care of this. (storms out)
Paco: Miss! Miss! You forgot your purls! Oh, sheet. Jose, put this in the pearl cleaner, and price it for 200 dollars.