Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Pearl Cross Pendant Has Issues

Freshwater pearls are dyed deep black, creating a luminous and dramatic piece. Black Pearl Cross Pendant is 2 3/4" long on 18" Sterling Silver mesh chain, plus 3" extender. $69.95
Just imagine after the breakup, when you're trying to hock this thing at the pawn shop to pay for your attorney's fees.

Jaded Wife: I'd like to sell this. They're real freshwater pearls.

Paco: Okay, Mees, pleece slide it under the glass partition, por favor. (holds cross, examines it under the light. Takes out a magnifying glass. Sighs.)

Jaded Wife: What is it? I need the money. I'm getting divorced!

Paco: Ma'am, did you stained this purls?

Jaded Wife: God no! They were a present from my hus--, actually, my future ex-husband. What's wrong?

Paco: Well...I don know how to tell you dis, but this are not wha you thinks.

Jaded Wife: Well, those are real! He told me so! I'm sure of it!

Paco: Ay, ya yai...Is not that...I...I don't know how to tell you dis...

Jaded Wife: Tell me, please!

Paco: Well, it seems like...somebady...dyed this pearls.

Jaded Wife: What the hell are you talking about?

Paco: This pearls were dyed. I'm thinking, shoe polish, maybe. I donno. They are worthless.

Jaded Wife: Son of a BITCH! Do you have any guns for sale here? Nevermind. I'll take care of this. (storms out)

Paco: Miss! Miss! You forgot your purls! Oh, sheet. Jose, put this in the pearl cleaner, and price it for 200 dollars.

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