Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Miracle Scissors Cut Through Water

"MIRACLE FOLDING SCISSORS. THESE SCISSORS CUT IT ALL!" These fabulous scissors are famous for their superior quality and compactness. Cuts through a wide variety of objects effortlessly. Perfect for hobbies, crafts, cutting coupons, and sewing tasks...anything! They compactly fold in half to conveniently fit in your purse, pocket, glove compartment, sewing kit, key chain... anywhere! Even has a jump-ring added at the end so you can hang from a necklace. 5" long and made of durable stainless steel. $7.97

So, now anything that folds is automatically a miracle? Will it cut through water, too? I think this is a little far fetched, no? In fact, Jesus called us here at YMAL to complain. In this exclusive interview, live in our YMAL studios, he gives us the low down on what he thinks of the Miracle Folding Scissors.

YMAL: Jesus Christ, thank you for joing us here today in our studio.

Jesus Christ: Thank you for having me.

YMAL: Now, apparently, you're a little upset with the makers of the miracle folding scissors. Could you tell us why?

JC: Well, it's simple really. There is no miracle here, just a hinged scissor that merely folds into itself. What about folding tables and chairs? They're never promoted as miracles, why a pair of scissors, then? This is just using the mystical idea of miracles to promote a dollar store grade pair of scissors. It's just a bunch of marketing hooey just to sell more junk to unsuspecting Americans. Enough is enough.

YMAL: Wow. I see your point. But don't you think you're overreacting just a bit?

JC: Do you want me to turn you into a pillar of salt? Maybe send in a plague of locusts? One call is all it takes, you know. I know where you live.

YMAL: Well, thanks for stopping by our studios and good luck with that whole world peace project.

JC: Please...

YMAL: Next up, we talk to Britney Spears about what's like to be a complete idiot at just 25. Don't touch that dial.

1 comment:

poody said...

I have a pr. in my purse right now! I had no idea they were a miracle! Or as we call them here in Texas ;Milagros!