Thursday, October 18, 2007

Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Toys R Us


Girlfriend Pillow - Give your favorite lonely pal a little company and make his next Saturday night a little more lively. Hilarious pillow wears a polka dot bikini top, a bracelet and bright red fingernails. Flip its switch and it vibrates. Makes a conversation-starting addition to any bachelor's d├ęcor. Polyester plush. 19"H x 13"W. Requires 2 "D" batteries (not incl.) $14.99 [collectors etc]

"So then I told Jenny, I was like, Omigod, I love your jacket and she was like, Thanks, I got it at the Gap, and I was like, You're lying! That's so Prada! and she was like You think so? and I was like, I totally want one! Let's go to the Gap--"

"Honey?"

"Yes?"

"Please shut the fuck up, or I'll replace you with a headless, legless, one-armed, bikini-top wearing, vibrating toy that never talks and watches the game with me while I spill popcorn all over the couch."

"Um, okay..."

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