Wednesday, February 21, 2007

You're Better Off Wiring Your Mouth Shut


Band Flex XS home gym strengthens abs, arms, legs, back and chest through high-quality resistance exercises. Why pay $899 for similar products? Safe setup lets you workout without a spotter. Quick-change snap system for easy resistance adjustment, floor protectors prevent skidding and scratches. Features gym quality adjustable padded seat, lat tower and leg extensions/curl attachments. Steel, 46 1/2 x 48 x 79". *Extra $50 shipping
Your Price: $299.98

Some things to note about the Band Flex XS:
  1. This is the XS model. As in X-tra Stupid.

  2. Although it vaguely resembles a Bowflex, the weak resistance comes from a squeaky series pulleys and bungee cords.

  3. No matter who assembles it for you, it will probably shake, rattle, squeak and groan like a 1979 Caddy over a cobblestone road.

  4. That "model" should just head over to the plastic surgeon for those massive thighs and become a bulimic.

  5. It's not worth the box it's shipped in.

2 comments:

New York Punk said...

I'll buy it, if it comes with that girl.
Imagine the XXX flexibility of the "model"!!!

S* said...

Gee, New York Punk, did you see the cankles on that girl?? Well, I guess there's more to grip when she's in those XXX positions?