Monday, January 01, 2007

You're Better Off Sick

The commercial for this product had me scoffing, then laughing at the woman (tool) using it. I wrote the name down and looked it up on the blessed internet, where I found the following two excerpts, direct from the manufacturer (Pfizer).

"DIRECTIONS: Keep foil packet sealed until ready to use. Adjust water to desired shower temperature. Remove tablet from foil pouch and immediately place on shower floor. For best results, place 1 tablet in direct stream of water and stand facing the tablet. "

Okay, that sounds a little too specific (place directly in stream, stand facing the tablet...), but here's where it gets downright scary:

"WARNINGS CAUTION: EYE IRRITANT. Product becomes hot when activated by water. Avoid touching tablet during use. Avoid contact with eyes. In case of contact with eyes, flush with water immediately. If eye irritation persists, consult a doctor. Keep out of reach of children. Not to be taken internally. If accidentally ingested seek medical help or contact a Poison Control Center right away. Use only when showering, not for use in bath water. Guard against slipping in shower."

Eye irritant? Becomes HOT when activated? Avoid touching? Guard against slipping? Do not use in bath water? I'd really like to know what happened during the clinical trials for this product. How many people were crippled, poisoned or blinded by Shower Soothers before they were cleared for the marketplace? (And these warnings sound eerily similar to the ones for Clorox toilet bowl cleaning tabs) Tsk, tsk, Pfizer. All these dire consequences for a product that is supposed to make you feel better from a cold? I think not. Maybe you'd better just stick to Viagra, guys.

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