Thursday, January 25, 2007

The War On Carbs: Day Two


Today is day three of my do-it-yourself low-carb diet. Day two was a bit difficult.
7:45 a.m. Get on scale. Discover that I'm 5lbs lighter than I was last week. Do happy dance in shower.
9:00 One cup of Starbucks coffee. Scoff at leftover breakfast bagels in office kitchen.
12:00 Eat a half pound of chicken salad. So far so good.
4:00 Extra-active day takes it's toll, stomach starts growling. Disregard. Make excuse to visit lobby newspaper/candy store. Scrutinize package of nuts for carb content. No purchase.
6:00 Waiting room at dermatologist's office. Only available magazine is O, by Oprah. Every other page is dedicated to an article about food, an ad for cake, or recipes. Stomach growling intensifies, Oprah declared Evil. Toss magazine to side and visualize weight loss instead.
6:45 Subway station. Pass newstand overflowing with candy and snacks. Briefly stop and drool, but avoid making purchase. Starving now.
7:30 Eat satisfying chicken burrito (no rice) and sliver of Mexican pound cake from Kitchen Market in Chelsea. Declare Mexican pound cake the greatest achievement in baking history. Watch Top Chef, American Idol and Family Guy.
10:00 Boil eggs for next day's egg salad. Put hot eggs in refrigerator. Forget to make egg salad.
12:00 Go to bed. Have bizarre restaurant-themed dreams, including one where I am so talkative that a patron at a neighboring table touches my arm and says, "Please. Would you just shut the fuck up already?" as the entire restaurant stares at me in silence.

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