Monday, January 22, 2007

Time To Send Grandma Away For A While


Imagine, if you will, the following phone conversation:
DAUGHTER: So, little Jimmy can't wait to see you next week.

(Jimmy screams in background)

GRANDMOTHER: What was that?

DAUGHTER: He wants to know if you'll be making him your famous ice cream sundaes.

GRANDMOTHER: (laughs) Of course, dear! Let me just make sure I have my banana slicer ready.

DAUGHTER: Your what?

GRANDMOTHER: Hold on. (sound of ruckus in background, cutlery crashing to the floor.)

GRANDMOTHER: Dang!

DAUGHTER: What's wrong?

GRANDMOTHER: (chuckles) I can't find my banana slicer! I need my banana slicer! Without it, I'm afraid I won't be able to make a sundae for little Jimmy. I'm sorry. Maybe it's best that he stay home.

DAUGHTER: Well, can't you just use a knife?

GRANDMOTHER: Who the hell do you think you're talking to, you little ingrate? I always knew you'd be trouble once you married that husband of yours. I never liked him--or his family, either! You know what? Maybe it was him who stole my banana slicer. You’d better give it back or I’m callin’ the police right now!
(dial tone)

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3 comments:

I was Trailer Trash when Trailer Trash wasn't Cool said...

I useta has two of them but they misterosley disdapeered after last Sunday football game

Your very BFF,
Miss Trash

P.S. You make jokes, but cuttin 'nanners with a nife or stickin' yore finger down the middle an' makin' perferked thirds jus' aint the same. y'all oughta be 'shamed of yo'selves.

Oh yeh, have you seen the Vidalia onion slicer? I want that.

Slinky Redfoot said...

NOBODY SAYS IT BETTER THAN MISS TRASH.
ps. you should expand above scene into a 3 act play on off off off off off off broadway (which is what, a blog?)

Miss Trashahassee said...

Slanky,

Nobodder says it better, but that don't mean nobodder says it just as good. I learnt that at skool in 9th grade when I werent droolin' on my desk asleep.

What is Broadway?

BFF,
Miss T