Thursday, December 07, 2006
"This automatic cereal dispenser makes breakfast quick and easy!
With the automatic Breakfix Cereal Dispenser, fixing the day's first meal will never again be a messy, time consuming chore. Breakfix uses the same principles as a coffee-maker, dispensing pre-measured portions of cereal with a touch of a button -- no mess, no fuss. Controlled portions also help to keep pounds off. Looks great in your kitchen and cleans in a snap. A healthy gift for the whole family -- the kids will love it! 16-1/8"H x 8-1/3"W x 5-1/2"D.Optional batteries not included."
Fuckin' battery operated, too. But I digress. I love how they liken it to a coffee maker, when it's really closer to those pet food dispensers to keep your dog fed when you're away. Is there some kind of facial-recognition technology built in to keep fat kids from going back for seconds and thirds? Otherwise, fat chance teaching people portion control. And at $79.99, it's cheaper (and more fun) to just say, "Put that bowl down, you fat little son-of-a-bitch!" That'll teach 'em.
Don't go just yet. You MUST visit the webpage for this item. Breakfix Cereal Dispenser. Why am I so adamant that you leave this page and go there? The video commercial for this product features some of the most painful-to-watch acting ever seen. I won't spoil the surpise, but let's just say these aren't "typical" of American kids. Warning: Commercial May Be Addictive and Distracting. Do Not Drive or Operate Heavy Machinery While Watching.