Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Just Use Your Sleeve


“Hand-painted ceramic angel all but hands out napkins. Glazed design based on those popular 50 years ago holds 16 paper or cloth napkins that form skirt. 6" x 8 3/4" high.”

The keywords here are "popular 50 years ago." This will no doubt appeal to the bored housewife with plenty of table space and a roaring Martha Stewart complex.

Oh, that dirty look your hostess just gave you? That's because she spent hours folding each of those napkins just so and you just grabbed one to wipe the grease off your mouth without telling her what a wonderful entertainer she is and now she's going to have a nervous breakdown and probably go into therapy because her Mom was never a great hostess and no one ever came over so they never had a Merry Christmas and Dad was a big drinker and used to hit them all the time, so they ran away, only to get caught by the police and brought back home to find Mommy passed out on the floor because it was her fault that you ran away and so Daddy beat her for it and used her good napkins to wipe the blood off his hands.

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