Friday, December 08, 2006

Bull Crap

"Toro is the new alternative to the ubiquitous floral print cardboard tissue box. Part paper weight, part portable hole, Toro is made of ultra-hygienic polished stainless steel. The ring leaves a lot to the imagination-Toro's simplicity is actually the result of a carefully engineered balance of weight and size; just right to let one tissue through at a time while staying firmly planted on the stack. Who'd have thought pulling tissues out could be this much fun? Careful- it's additive-you'll go through twenty before you notice! Dishwasher safe. 4". Award winning product."

Leave it to the invention channel to promote waste. "You'll go through twenty before you notice!" Oh, shut up. But beyond that, I have other issues:
1) It is polished stainless steel, yet dishwasher safe. Why would you need to put it in the brutal dishwasher? The most it should ever need is a quick rinse under the faucet. Unless you try using it other than as directed.
2) It's additive? Beyond the obvious typo, I imagine it's only addictive for visiting ADD-afflicted children, who will clog your toilet with the entire stack after knocking it to the floor while playing with it.
3) if you find yourself seriously entertained by this, then I'd like to recommend a nice book. Final Exit.

4) Award-winning product? What kind of award? Gullible Consumer Award? The Ha Ha We Got Em Plaque?

2 comments:

S* said...

Portable Hole?

I won't even touch that one.

I love your blog! It makes me snort.

Moda di Magno said...

I hate to say it - but this product is fabulous. Use only in a "no children" home (because the little bastards will find a way to put it through your TV.) WAY better than the cheaptastic fake Kleenex box on the coffee table.