Friday, November 24, 2006

So Thankful I'm Not You

Dear Asshole Thanksgiving Guest:

First, it wasn't my fault that your newborn daughter started screaming uncon-trollably right after you brought her into the house. Second, I was not the one who dressed her in a cheap, non-breathable polyester outfit that caused her to develop an out-of-control rash. So when I say, jokingly, "Welcome to fatherhood," and you snap at me, saying, "Are you a father? How can you welcome me to fatherhood?" I wish I had brought a weapon to the dinner table. Obviously, you have no sense of humor, because the entire table laughed at my joke. You and your bitchy, bitter wife could use a lesson in basic manners. Fuck off, okay?


P.S. - Stop eating so motherfucking fast. What are you trying to do, set a world record?

1 comment:

Slinky Redfoot said...

after he said, "are you a father", you shold've grabbed him, fucked him up the ass and said, "who's your daddy now, bitch!"
I bet that also would have gotten a laff!